bicycleofthoughts

So I have nothing to write about. But I have to write something. I think that is the only way to get back on track. I think you should listen to Riptide by Vance Joy. What emotion do I feel right now? Helplessness and loneliness with a hint of sadness. It’s 2:16 AM and I am awake. Loneliness because I am lonely. I have no one I talk to. Please notice that this statement is not equal to I have no one I want to talk to or I have no one I could talk to. It’s become a theme in my life. If I talk to someone too much, I get a feeling that I am bothering them too much. It’s mostly because they never start the conversation themselves. I just felt like punching my laptop screen after writing this sentence. Of course, I did not; because I have great control over my emotions. There are some people who start a conversation with me, but I don’t give them enough attention. Possibly because they are not girls. I think that’s the only reason. I also sometimes ask one question to myself, “What’s wrong with you?”. The last time I answered back to myself, “Everything.” Maybe it is true. I don’t want to be lonely. I can’t be hopeful. It’s not in my nature. I just wanna feel something for someone again. I am ready to get my heart broken or healed again. That is the cure. That’s how I will be able to write again.